Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
