Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize