we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
