Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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