Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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