it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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