you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
