how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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