Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
