You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
