So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
