Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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