Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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