is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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