Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
