Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
