She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
