i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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