1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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