Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize