somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
