so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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