You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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