you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize