so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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