apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
