Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
