He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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