No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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