you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
