Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you still have your period?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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