Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
