So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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