fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
