you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
