I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
