did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
