There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he was CRYING into my vagina
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
