I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
