Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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