just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
