and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize