Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm always down for nudity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
