A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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