that's an acceptable place to lick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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