my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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