It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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