i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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