i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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