is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
