Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
