i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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