well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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