Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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