In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize