I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
