I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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