woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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