2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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