why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
