do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize