Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
