so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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