Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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