I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
