wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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