he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
