Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
