I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
