Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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