The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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