The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize