I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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