I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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