you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
