okay pat passed out under dana's car
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
