so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
