just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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