the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
