i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize