At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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