Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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