Nicole vs. Life
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
