white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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